This fight is really stupid, but I need to know who's wrong. My boyfriend likes to buy and collect DVDs. He buys movies every week, as new releases come out. I have never cared about what movies he buys. In fact, I love that he has such a huge collection. However, I knew that a certain movie (I won't reveal the title) was coming out soon, and I asked him to please not buy it because I want to boycott it. I have very strong feelings about this movie...it contains certain themes and ideas that I don't agree with at all, and I didn't want him to spend money on it. Anyways...he ends up buying it. I came over and saw it on his desk...and no, its not a porno, its a real movie. Well I flipped out, and now we're not speaking.
MY ARGUMENT: I think he was inconsiderate because this was the first time I have ever asked him to boycott a movie...its not like I was asking him to change his life...all I wanted was for him to not buy the damn DVD!!
HIS ARGUMENT: He thinks that I'm making a big deal out of nothing, I have no right to tell him what to buy, and I should get over it.
As a result, I feel like he doesn't care about my feelings and it goes to show that he really has no regard for me. I don't think I was asking for much, but his only defense is that I'm "controlling". Controlling? even though I have NEVER made one remark or request about his movies?? What do you guys think? All honesty (and politeness) is appreciated.Had a fight with bf...who is right?
I think if he is actually a real collector, then i think he has a point. Regardless of your asking if he really is a collector, he should buy it. Don't make a big fight out of it, but I hope he should say sorry or try to reach you out because he knew already that you didn't like it.
trying to force others to boycott jsut because you dont like it is a very leftist thing to do. i'd trhow you out until you properly apologised.
so you never made any rmarks about his dvd collecrting until you wanted to control him but your'e not controlling...?
boycotting doesnt' really work, btw.
the world is full of kids wo think things are important when they actually have no idea about much of anytihng except the new boycot fad. the last presidential election os proof of how silly kids can be.Had a fight with bf...who is right?
I hate to side with the girl... ;)
But I believe you are more in the right then he is in this argument...
I'd think not buying one DVD out of the thousands that have come out wouldn't kill him..
Plus he's wasting a lot of money buying that crap...
That's a tuffy!Had a fight with bf...who is right?
I can honestly see both side of the argument.
Its a toughie cause one perspective is that you were trying to pull him into your boycoot and expecting him to feel the same way as you about a subject. Or at the very least not respecting him enough to let him make his own decision.
On the other hand you asked him to SUPPORT in a small act which he did not do. He could have rented the movie at a time where you were not gonna be around etc etc.
If it were me (a guy) I probably would not have boght the movie. I would have watched it online or whatever. My fiancee doesnt ever ask for that stuff usually but the one time she did (asked me not to eat veal) I respected her request. She didnt ask me never to eat it just not in front of her. It seemed fair to me like your request for him to not buy a certain movie.
Nevertheless the damage is done. He has the movie I think it may be time to move on from it. Make the request that he not watch it when you are around. If he cant honor that request then he obviously doesnt care about you!
Good luck.
Im on the girls side. The guy could have at least seen how important it is for his girl and adjusted that one time.. it shouldn't cause arguments, just for a movie, but sometimes compromises should be made. And since he already did it, i think the girl should adjust and forgive him.. talk it out, calmly and tell him why this means as much as it does to you. Compromises are essential in a relationships, and often times they are so difficult to make, especially when it touches your morals. Maybe after all your not meant to be together...
I completely know where you are coming from. There are certain things that I too am boycotting. However, that is my decision for MY life. I don't tell other people what they should or should not buy for their own use. It's a movie he bought for himself. If he bought it for you, then I would say you have a basis for your argument, but you can't impose your beliefs on anyone else. You are the one that has a problem with it, not him. If he insists on you watching it with him, then he's in the wrong. Ask him to at least hide the movie. Explain what you don't like about it. Maybe he will see your point of view (even if he doesn't agree with it) and not talk about it in your presence.
I think you have reason to be mad if you guys are serious. It sounds like you guys live together. I mean, if you didn't, you wouldn't be getting this mad over it cuz you guys wouldn't be sharing the house or money, I hope. Anyways...
Obviously he just completely ignored you and your feelings. I would be pissed too. You should probably talk to him about it. Like you said, it's not like you asked him to change his life, and that's like the only thing you've ever asked for. That's messed up. I know it's just over a DVD, probably the stupidest thing to argue over, but beneath it is him not listening and being inconsiderate, which is completely okay to be mad over. So go be mad :)
depending on the theme, he probably does but since u r just dating i dont think you have the right to tell him what to buy, just say please dont talk or let me see that movie. If you tell him not to do something its our instinct to do it anyway. he cares about you, but i think you should just go its your life i just dont wanna talk about it or see it
